Break time Confrontation

During break time, a co-teacher once asked me, “do you see yourself teaching until you grow old?” Without batting an eyelash I said, “No.” I gave her that blank look that I have perfected over the years to signal her that I want our conversation to end right away. She didn’t get it. Weak signal reception, I thought. She was waiting for me to say more. There was no way she’s ending this conversation just like that. “How about you?” I asked. “Yes,” she answered, “I see myself in this profession ‘til I grow old.” She then started talking about how she loves being a teacher, why she chose to be a teacher, etc. I just stared at her and imagined her as the stereotypical old teacher with eyeglasses and the killer stare inside the same classroom. It was scary. “That’s great, I’m happy for you,” I said and made an excuse to get out of the room. Break times are supposed to give you a break, not stress you out.

This happened three years ago. I just realized that what stressed me out that time was not the thought of being the stereotype old teacher but the fact that I don’t know what I really wanted. Our conversation confronted me. I actually envied her for knowing exactly what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. I don’t have the same clarity in me. What I am sure about is that I am not going to grow old in the academe. Don’t get me wrong, I love teaching and I enjoyed my profession but I know it’s not what I want to do for a lifetime. Looking at my life now, it turns out I am bound to teaching after all. Not in the four-walled classroom like her but in the University of Life. I now empower and mentor people about faith, finances, and life as a whole. The world is my classroom. Learning can occur anywhere: in a coffee shop, while riding the bus, while waiting for a cab - ANYWHERE. My students are not limited by age, gender, culture, status or lifestyle. In the University of Life, I am both the teacher and the student. I still follow a curriculum but I am not limited by it. I am a work in progress and every moment is an opportunity to learn and unlearn. There is no promotion but growth. And your break time? It could still be study time.