Break time Confrontation

During break time, a co-teacher once asked me, “do you see yourself teaching until you grow old?” Without batting an eyelash I said, “No.” I gave her that blank look that I have perfected over the years to signal her that I want our conversation to end right away. She didn’t get it. Weak signal reception, I thought. She was waiting for me to say more. There was no way she’s ending this conversation just like that. “How about you?” I asked. “Yes,” she answered, “I see myself in this profession ‘til I grow old.” She then started talking about how she loves being a teacher, why she chose to be a teacher, etc. I just stared at her and imagined her as the stereotypical old teacher with eyeglasses and the killer stare inside the same classroom. It was scary. “That’s great, I’m happy for you,” I said and made an excuse to get out of the room. Break times are supposed to give you a break, not stress you out.

This happened three years ago. I just realized that what stressed me out that time was not the thought of being the stereotype old teacher but the fact that I don’t know what I really wanted. Our conversation confronted me. I actually envied her for knowing exactly what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. I don’t have the same clarity in me. What I am sure about is that I am not going to grow old in the academe. Don’t get me wrong, I love teaching and I enjoyed my profession but I know it’s not what I want to do for a lifetime. Looking at my life now, it turns out I am bound to teaching after all. Not in the four-walled classroom like her but in the University of Life. I now empower and mentor people about faith, finances, and life as a whole. The world is my classroom. Learning can occur anywhere: in a coffee shop, while riding the bus, while waiting for a cab - ANYWHERE. My students are not limited by age, gender, culture, status or lifestyle. In the University of Life, I am both the teacher and the student. I still follow a curriculum but I am not limited by it. I am a work in progress and every moment is an opportunity to learn and unlearn. There is no promotion but growth. And your break time? It could still be study time.

Breakthrough!

I had an “aha!” moment when the person I was facilitating the course for told me, “Buti ka pa, you got me.” We were trying to figure out where a limiting money belief started. He told me a specific childhood experience then he stopped abruptly. Sensing that that was it, I summarized his story into one sentence and asked him if I got it right. His eyes widened and agreed. That was my “Aha!” moment – my breakthrough. His statement actually surprised me. I finally got it. I was finally listening.

I was listening with the intent to understand beyond what is being said. Not merely listening to come back with a smart answer. That moment, I took out everything that is cluttering my mind to give this stranger the space to dump his garbage. I was in “the zone.” I smiled. Deep in my heart, I want more of these moments. He’ll never know the breakthrough his comment gave me. I am grateful for it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I hope you got that.